Posts Tagged ‘zombies’

Running, it’s still ugly

I complain, I bitch, I moan, and yes, there are tears, but here I am again, running.

Snotty, Deborah, and Dan

We all learned from Zombieland that rule 1 is Cardio.  Sadly, that skinny little zombie apocalypse survivor started out with taller, and shall we call them, more athletic genes.  I spent Saturday internally hating genetics.  I mentioned to Deborah my newly fueled hate was toward my short genetics and she said, “ah, the hate that lasts a lifetime.”

This conversation happened during a 1/2 mile span.  It’s difficult to hate, talk, breath and run.

After the running, I got a massage!  My massage school buddies were out fulfilling part of their Specialty Massage Class requirements!  You should have seen the look of shock on their faces when they saw me.  Oh, not because I was there, I’m always showing up unexpectedly.  No, they were shocked because they thought I was running the full Kalamazoo Marathon.

Yeah, uh, no.  2 miles of sort of running is enough to make me cry, no marathon for me.  As it turns out, without a shovel, I am zombie fodder.

As for knitting, I continue to do what I call knitting.  You know, start something, work diligently on it for a week, then chuck it behind the chair.

Currently behind the chair is a baby sweater with no arms, a really short afghan (like a blanket, not a short person from Afghanistan) plus a super small start to the Chaos Swirls knit along shawl that the ZPDK have embarked on.  I embarked too, but I’m currently using a life boat.

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I picked the wrong week to stop…

It’s like The One with the Embryos episode of Friends.  Oh, crikey, you know, the one with the QUIZ that leads to the apartment swap.  No, I’m not talking about “Every week the TV Guide comes to Chandler and Joey’s apartment. What name appears on the address label?”  (Chanadler Bong)  I’m referring to “What is Rachel’s favorite movie?”  Rachel claims Dangerous Liaisons is her favorite movie; her real favorite movie: Weekend at Bernie’s.”

So here we go. I claim that Gone with the Wind is my favorite movie, but it is any one of these:

Point Break-The best lines ever, an accidental comedy!!  “I’m not going to paddle to New Zealand.”

Shaun of the Dead-Wait, more awesome to quote! “Don’t say the zed word.”  “The ‘Batman’ soundtrack?” “Throw it.”

But most possibly, my all time favorite is……..   ……….   …………

Airplane! There are so many great quotes.  I probably quote one a day.  It’s sick.  I haven’t even seen this movie since the 80’s.

JOEY: And he says that lots of times, you don’t even run down court. And that you don’t really try… except during the playoffs.
ROGER MURDOCK (Kareem)[breaking character] The hell I don’t! LISTEN KID! I’ve been hearing that crap ever since I was at UCLA. I’m out there busting my buns every night. Tell your old man to drag Walton and Lanier up and down the court for 48 minutes.

Just Monday I said “I picked the wrong week to stop drinking””…smoking” “… sniffing glue.”

CLASSICS!!!

Plus, every time one of the Pigs get Boy’s Life, I wonder “where the hell is my Nun’s Life??”

So, tell me, what is your socially acceptable favorite and your real favorite?

A Winter Poem

Zombies frozen in the field

Warmed by the winter sun,

they move a bit each day.

Will they reach the house?

No, I’ve got my shovel.

To wake, or to contact?

The Ogre has been worrying about my ability to wake up in the morning.  It has been my goal, since having the Pigs, to sleep in until 8 am.  Due to this grand desire, I tend to sleep pretty aggressively.  Yes, aggressively.

The room must be dark.  Dark like a night in the woods.  It must be silent.  Ok, all noises made by humans, dogs, cats, will be ignored.  Zombies, werewolves, clicking, water running or bunnies being eaten by coyotes will be responded to.  Often with a shovel.

The Ogre has been traveling for work.  Here is a partial list of things that stress him out:

  • House will burn down
  • Furnace will stop working
  • Furnace will stop working and house will burn down
  • Holly will ignore the alarm, everyone will be late for work/school

Sure, a normal person gets an alarm.  I killed my last two alarms.  Oddly enough, I beat the crap out of them when they made loud noises before 8 am.

Because of the previously mentioned travel, and the list of fears, the search for an alarm clock, no a sturdy alarm clock, was on.

I considered the Moonbeam Clock from L.L.Bean.

It’s sleek design, and L.L. Bean’s liberal return policy  made it seem like an excellent choice.  Sadly, while reading the reviews, the moonbeam clock was noted as having “a freakishly loud tick for an electric clock.”

Ok, I can’t possibly have a clock that sounds like the dislocated arm of a hunchbacking zombie.  I’d be all full alert and never get any sleep.

Soo, to ease the Ogre’s mind, I decided “Yes!  I will get an alarm clock!  The perfect alarm clock that can charge my ipod, and wake me up!  That way the Ogre won’t have to worry.”

Here is my perfect alarm clock…

This is the ihome blah, blah, alarm clock ipod charger, with awesome music wake up.

Actually, it’s so cool it has 2 alarm time presents!

Ok, notice that large blue display area?  That is actually NOT a time telling device, but an alien landing strip guidance light.  Yes, from space, intelligent life forms can see this light, home in on it’s amazing ipod charging frequency and, and, keep me the hell from getting a good night sleep.

So, if you work for SETI, I suggest investing in one of these clocks.  If you’d like to save electricity and not turn on your lights while getting dressed, again, this clock is for you.

If, IF, you want to sleep in a dark, peaceful room, DON’T BUY THIS CLOCK.*

*Please note:  This is meant as a humorous post.  The ihome alarm clock is actually AWESOME.  It does have a dimmer function.  It has three brightness settings:  Alien landing signal, Read a book by, Hey! Look a clock!, and NO LIGHT.

Go, buy the clock.  It charges, it plays and makes sweet, sweet love to your ipod every night.

School days and Knit Knights, Nights

Things are finally getting organized, in a schedule, and written down.  I mean I have to schedule massage school, drug testing, zombie slaying and knitting, or hell, my homeostasis will be shot to hell.

Remember when I used to have a planner?  Uh, and then remember when I lost it?

Yes, without the planner, we won’t have tasty meals like Zombie Parts Meatloaf!

Well, tell me what you do with the spare parts.  We can’t have a bon fire every night.

Vampires, we slay them too…

My dear sweet Ogre.  He is always thinking of me.  While taking a break from slaying zombies, he picked up a gift…

Sure, sure, we don’t do much vampire slaying.  Starting with Lestat,  (actually that Fiend, Nosferatu) vampires have become all the lovey dovey death and snuggy rage.  I mean really, do you want a blood sucking fiend sucking on you?  Many, many chicks are totally into that.  Plus, they are undead, but not like zombie brain dead undead, so we usually let them be.

So are vamps ok?  Depends on where you stand.  But for me…live and let undead live.

New Beginnings, Not New Directions

New Beginnings started yesterday.  New beginnings, not New Directions.  Although, I have been known to bust out into dance and song.  When I say “have been known” I actually mean I do that, every-single-day.

Enough about my dreams for being on Glee.  What started yesterday was my Massage Therapist Training at the Institute for Massage Education at Kalamazoo Center for the Healing Arts.  As is traditionally done, I had my first day of school photo taken.

Yes, pitch dark out and raining but the Ogre got my photo.  It was sort of creepy.  We saw what looked to be a zombie arm pulling it’s self along the street.  After the photo, we had to do a bit of, uh, stomping.

I did manage to get some knitting done at school. I really like the Hurricane Hat by Sunshine Knits-Andrea Gautier.

Here’s my version of the hat, in some random Noro yarn.

I just thought this was funny

So, back to school.

I had a class called Health and Wellness in the morning.  I got a bloody nose.  Which, is better than peeing my pants, so I consider that a pretty good start.  We talked about the benefits of drinking water, and had an amusing demo.  Again, no pants peeing, this was a different demo.

In the afternoon we switched over to Basic Massage.  After getting the first day info out of the way, we worked on Reflexology and did foot massages.  I told Sarah I could currently give her an $8000 foot rub.

I have some homework to do which includes journaling, drinking water, practicing my moves (hola Pigs! Can I rub your feet?) and picking out my 3 favorite herbs.  No, not that kind.