Posts Tagged ‘home improvement’

Randomly, I found a Contractor

So I go into this Construction Place* and scared the crap out of the lady there.  No, I wasn’t all in my zombie slaying garb, and I wasn’t acting assertive like I do at 4 way stops.

She was just surprised I was there. She was all “ok, what do you want?”  I said “construct, build or design a 4th bedroom on our house.”   That my friend, is not what they do.  They only work in commercial construction.   I laughed and said “oh, then can you build a pole building in my back yard to keep my kids in?”  She asked me what size I needed.

Then random other guy popped his head out and he was all “I’ve got what you need.”  Sadly, that Biz Markie song has been in my head ever since.

His relative does residential construction and he gave me the info for Construction Place.* This is how I get stuff done, completely randomly.

If you’d like to offer random suggestions, as you can see, I’m open to them.


*Names were changed to protect the Construction Places.


Leave the house, I will, er, improve it

The Ogre is in Europe.  I know, right?  He’s like on a different continent.  So, what have I done while he was gone?

I tore out a closet.  Really, I took the pole, shelf and random wood bits out.

I even got a Pig in on this action.  Sadly, and really there was much lamenting, the closet was in dire need of repainting after the abuse it got from me and my assistant.

I don’t know about you, but when I am in the middle of a home renovation, I like to halt everything and invite everyone I know over.

Ah yes, it was the Zombie Prom Date Knitters invasion!   Hurray!!  It’s been so long since I’ve seen my girls!!

Sandy and the Other Laura were over also, but I believe they were out paroling the perimeter when the camera was out.  It’s weird, but we’ve had a real influx of werewolves lately.  I mean really, you get rid of all the zombies, and the damn werewolves show up.

Here’s the repainted closet.  Isn’t it beautiful and tidy?

Wow, with all the awesome I’ve done, I really think the Ogre is going to be surprised when he gets home.

Surprised that one little woman and three Pigs can make such a big mess.

News Flash!

For those keeping track:

On attempt three, around hour 3.5, the toilet seat that was hermetically sealed

to toilet with a foul mixture of Pig urine, rust, the mixing of “earth friendly” cleaning products and harsh toxic chemicals was finally removed.

How you ask?

A drill, a wrench, a flat head screw driver, the promise of tents, the threat of death upon reentry of the house, complete denial that my hair was in fact touching the spot where the toilet plunger lives, and the crazy determination that keeps making those ugly Kidney Kozies…Snot Power!

So, if you have a towel seat that had plastic nuts on metal screws and they have lost the inability to unscrew, here’s my advice to you…Rum and Coke, or just decide you need a new toilet.

Pride and Socks

I’ve come to the conclusion that maybe some of my attempts at doing new things would go better if my accomplice wasn’t a 4 year old. Super helpful, but lousy with a utility knife.

I’d like to point out there was only a little blood. Mine, not Pig 3’s.

After all the activity with the screen, I decided to reward myself with knitting and hobnobs.

When I was at this point in the sock knitting,

I was so giddy, that I did a fashion shoot.

After a half an hour, I thought maybe I should just finish the second one. Besides, my other foot was cold.

Pride and socks. I finally got to it.

It’s bound to end poorly

In an attempt to keep malaria at bay, I will be replacing our slider’s screen. You remember the frozen zombie in the back field? I may have let him defrost a little more than I should have. He really clawed the heck out of the screen. It took a week just to get the drool and flannel out of the shredded remains.

Now, one may ask, “why rescreen, just get a new screen slider door.”

I will gently reply “THIS IS THE NEW DOOR I’M FIXING!!!”

Zombies. Everywhere. Please do your part in keeping them out of my lawn, and wrecking my house this year. I’m tired and my shovel is getting dull.

Electric Fireplace

I wanted to sell our house. Why? Well, it turns out I really like to move. But the Ogre, as with many Ogres, does not like change, does not like to get rid of unused belongings, and has that whole practical side to him.

So when asked what it was about our house that was making me want to move, I made up a list of things we need to make this house as good as moving.

Garbage Disposal (bad reason to move, easy to install, by trained professionals)

Dining room addition or 3 seasons room. I would like a dining room, but I really just want the 3 seasons room.

And finally an electric fireplace. No, really a finished basement where the boys can go with their toys, and friends, and then a finished spare bedroom, guest room thing.

The fireplace was mentioned to the Ogre at lunch by Dee herself. We happened to drop into Lowes after a stop at Olde Peninsula (I broke my beer glass at home and had to get it replaced. Try the Vanilla Stout, it’s smooth.)

Anyway, magically, electric fireplaces were on clearance. Oddly, when it’s 40 degrees in January in Michigan, winter supplies don’t seem to sell. Odd. Because our basement is stocked with canned food, blankets, spare heaters, and anti neighbor devices in case those fools think we will share our emergency blizzard supplies with them. Stupid grasshoppers.