Archive for the ‘Disney’ Category

Pigs are barfing, and I’m happy

Yes, I’ve got some barfing Pigs.  No, no, don’t feel bad.  There are plenty of horrible things going on in the world right now, don’t worry about the Pigs.

You see, the reason I’m happy is because normally, the Pigs barf while we are on vacation.

Our family has a long list of vacation locations and beloved places to barf.

At Disney, Pig 2 likes to barf at the Animal Kingdom, oh, and on the bus to Animal Kingdom. He especially likes to the bushes at the Polynesian resort.  They provide a lot of cover.

They barfed all over that Magic Kingdom

 

Pig 3, he likes to barf in the comfort of Disney resort beds.  A yes, they are not only plush and comfy, but also barf-tastic!

Don’t worry Midwest!  We love to barf at your vacation wonderlands too!

Oh, Chicago, ye olde barfy city!

Aquariums, zoos, hotel rooms and hot dog stands…NONE of you are safe from Pig 1 and his mad barfing skills!

Right now, we are planning to go, nay, drive to Florida to visit PK and Dan.  I want this barfing to stop, before we get on the road.  Just this once.  Ok, not just this once.  Let’s start a new vacation tradition, one that doesn’t involve barfing.

 

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It’s 2011!!

I want to start eating healthy, today.  But we have all these delicious left overs!  The Ogre really out did himself and made a multi course meal with recipes from Disney.  No, not like Mickey Pancakes, food from the Disneyland and Disney World restaurants.

You too can own this lovely cookbook.  Available at Disneystore

 

Today is supposed to be the Grange Craft Day.  But really, I didn’t feel that it would be safe to drive in all this snow.  Non locals-please note, it’s Michigan, that is normally the case, but today, it’s 53 degrees and sunny.

So, if you’d like to get crafty over at my place…come on over!  I have a lot of food.

 

Here’s your Happy Holidays!

I hope you don’t feel bad that we didn’t send you a holiday card last year. We ordered a family photo card.  I still have them in a box upstairs.

This is not the card, but it was from Disney

The plan was to send them out a week late.  Then the plan was to send them in July.  Last week, the plan was to send them out with a family update letter.

Here we are at the Winter Solstice.  I’m thinking you aren’t getting that card this year either.

So, Happy Holidays from The Ogre, Holly, and the 3 Little Pigs!!

Snotty, No, it’s the Holidays!

Yes, I’m still using Disney Photos. But this has knitting.

While at Epcot, I found this lovely Dale of Norway sweater at the Norwegian Pavilion.

It was priced at the not so lovely price of $465.

Which lead me to an idea.

Sometimes my ideas are not so original. Hey, let’s stop here and eat some frozen Disney treats…

Then come over here and eat, them. No one is over here, and there’s a garbage can!


Yes, I did take a photo of the inside of a garbage can

So maybe my next idea will be more original. I knit, I have nice yarn, I’ll start charging people $465 per item!

Merry Christmas Sarah! I hope you enjoy the scarf!
For those that know me, you know I don’t say that lightly!

Yeah, right! You know I can’t do that! Well, I don’t knit well enough for one thing, but for another, it’s just not in me.

I may be snarky, blunt, honest, mean, and make you cry, but if you need or want something, I’m probably going to give it to you.

My scarf, my other scarf, the shirt off my back, my coat-as long as I get my red mittens out of the pockets, it’s yours if you need it. Hey! My blood, sure, every six weeks or so, bone marrow-MATCH I’m looking for you! It’s like creepy Go Fish!

Happy Holidays-Do something nice this year. Even if it’s just a knit scarf.

Gift of Life Michigan
Be the Match
American Red Cross

Disney Tips, or Snotty Tips…

Ah, so you’re going to Disney.

I sure as hell hope you know what you’re in for. No really. That place is full of characters.


Not just the nice ones! My favs are there too!

Plus people. If you’re not careful you’ll run into people like the Ogre with his laminated touring plans.

Worse yet, there’s the people who stand in the way with absolutely no plan.

Here is the Snotty plan of attack, also know as the Middle Way.

Snotty-Your Quirky Guide to the Kingdom

Ok, I borrowed that from Buddha. I don’t think he’d mind.
1. Know where the bathrooms are.


I really liked the bathrooms in the restaurants. Especially at off times. Oooh, Columbia Harbor House in Fantasy Land-Best Counter Service food in Magic Kingdom, HUGE Dining Area upstairs-PLUS cleanest least used bathrooms upstairs. Trust me, these are things I keep track of.

Also good, pee stops-MK Space Mountain toilets. These are not often used by little kids. Think about that.

Epcot-No bathrooms in France. Make sure you pee before you get there! Morocco-not real clean, but never very busy. UK bathrooms, always busy, but kept up nicely. Norway-secret bathrooms around corner from bakery…nice!

I hit the Electric Umbrella restaurant rest room on many occasions. Clean, and again, on off eating times…not busy.
2. Remember to EAT.

Suck it up. You are at Disney. You’ve already decided to spend a million dollars. Hopefully you got a deal either on your hotel or resort or flight, or scored and got the FREE DINING PLAN. But either way, don’t be a cheap ass and skimp on eating.

WHY? I don’t want to listen to your crabby ass family midday because they are starving.

Sit down, take a break and eat. You’ll feel better, rest and be ready to go enjoy yourself again. Trust me on this.

3. Your kid is 5 or under? Suck it up and rent the stroller.

Your back will thank you. Plus you can put your emergency poncho, “I peed my pants” (that was me) dirty undies, jackets, etc, etc, etc, on the stroller.

“But my kid is strong, not a whiner, better than those lazy Pigs, and doesn’t need a stroller, and the strollers are expensive!”

Uh, yeah. I say after about an hour, your ass is going to remember this and say, “Wow, Holly was right, my kid is heavy, and this bag is heavy. Where do I rent that stroller?”

4. Stroller Rental info-
a. Rent for the whole time you are going to be there. You get a discount.
b. Strollers are at the entrance of each park.
c. If you go to multiple parks, you only pay once.
d. TIE A BANDANNA on your stroller-no one does this. In a sea of buggies, you will be able to spot yours.
e. There is stroller parking spots all over the parks. If your stroller isn’t where you left it a Disney cast member moved. It’s near by. Look for your bandanna.

5. Disney isn’t just for Kids

Childcare Options are available onsite, along with inroom babysitting.
Neverland Club is at the Polynesian Resort. The Grand Floridian also offers a Club. They’ll have so much fun they’ll never know that you just wanted to go have fun wearing your Mickey Mouse Ears without them saying you were embarrassing them.
6. Be a Kid. It’s Magic.

Make new friends, try new foods, dance in the streets, hug a person dressed like a mouse.

Laundry, vacation style

5 people, an airplane and 1 checked piece of luggage leads you to this in three days…

How the hell am I going to carry all that crap down to the laundry room? Oh, no, I do not want help from those Pigs. I want time alone.

I loaded it up in my suitcase of course. Check the cute crochet flower I made. Hand spun yarn. Yes, my luggage is camouflage green with orange trim. Did you expect anything less?

So, my tips for travel:
1. Travel light
2. Obnoxious colored luggage
3. loud luggage marker (home spun yarn with crochet flowers optional)
4. Bring your own laundry detergent-Purex 3-1 sheets 20 loads $5. I don’t want to do 20 loads, but I have that option. Plus, the Pigs have been know to barf a place or two, so I like to be prepared. Plus, sometimes I get barfed on by other people’s kids.
5. Suck it up and throw the dirty ass laundry into your luggage and roll it down to the laundry room.

I pretended that I was on the phone with someone the whole way, and walked like I was Ginger from Gilligan’s Island. Just to make laundry on vacation fun.

Then I went and had a lovely dinner with my family.

Ok, maybe it was a rowdy dinner with my family! Either way, it was fun! After, I went back to the peace and quiet of the laundry room and worked on knitting the Clap, oh, and the laundry.

Scarfy in Florida…

Here I am in lovely Florida. Note the scarf.

Do you know what scarf that is? It’s the Print O’ the Wave, wait that’s too hard I’ll do the Morning Glory Shawl! Yeah, the one you thought I’d frogged. No! Like learning to spin, I worked on it in secret! Yes, I knit on it like Mike, like a Pro, with my tongue out. Which if you are a NBA superstar, you can defend the tongue sticking out, but if you are a rather shitty knitter, the tongue thing just looks stupid. Thus, knit at home with snot.

Here you so Pigs, Pigs in line, being Pigs, wearing eye searing yellow t shirts.

Unlike many other families, I like to keep an eye on my pigs, and try to not lose them. The yellow shirts work like a charm.


I was also easy to spot. I had the scarf and a jacket on. I did fit with one other group…The French. They too had sassy scarves. The accepted me with open arms. That is until I started yelling at them with my horri-ble American memory of 9th grade French class “Tu est mal! Tu est mal! Tu est mal!” While a group of them were taking photos on the Spaceship Earth ride. Yeah, that translates to you are badly. Badly what? Badly annoying me with your illegal flash photography!

Well, now we are home and I have a bad case of the Clap…otis. It’s another scarf. But luckily my sweet friend Linda took pity on my soul and this was waiting for me when I got home…


Sunday’s outfit

Monday’s Outfit

No Michigan Zombie Slayer’s Outfit is complete without proper gear! Thanks again Linda!!