Fogdog Hits the Hooch aka John and Beth’s Wedding

Remember when FatCat Crochet was here, and it was all fun, all the time?
Well, that weekend, I was forced to have more fun at John and Beth’s wedding.  Do I have to be everyone’s go to Party Girl? 
 Actually, it was the sweetest, nicest, most to the point ceremony I’ve ever been to.
                                                 I do believe they were mocking Garland
14 minutes from the welcome to the kissing of the bride.  Nicely done lady from Detroit doing the marrying!
Then it was right to the reception!  Things I love about a wedding-Free Booze, Big hair and lot’s of Cleavage, and that was just me!
                                                 Those are my tall sandals and my Tall Ogre.
In true good host form, John and Beth put our table closest to the bar.  Who needs to sit near the Bride and Groom?  When you are close to the bar, they come to you.
                    Apparently Dee has been lifting weights using Champagne bottles.  It works.
Since Dee has been lifting weights, her arms look amazing.  Jen and I decided to take up her work out plan.
I swear, the bartender delivered the bottles to us.  He also delivered Mojitos.  As it turns out, the Ogre can only carry 5 at a time.  Jen would rather drink from the bottle than get a Roofies Special Mojito. No, no, it’s ok, we think.  The bartender had this mystery juice he was tipping back into the Mojitos.  Because I am not shy, I went and asked “Roofies?”  “Uh, simple syrup infused with mint.” was the answer. Now, can that guy deliver drinks to the house?
It wasn’t all hooch. There was dinner and dinner conversation.  We learned the way our own little Sunshine, Sandy, likes things. “I like the thin ones, not the think ones, they’re too woody.”
I told a guy the noodles were like veg lasagna.  He practically ran from it.  The Ogre commented “So, if it would have had sausage, he’d have been all over it?”  I believe we were implying the man likes his meat.
I asked someone “Does your husband mow all that?”  The answer was a bit shocking.  “Yes, he has a strap-on.”  Well, ok.
There were also some special moments.  John’s Best Man and the Best Man’s wife treated us with a, well, here’s the photo.
                                       He SOOOO loves her to do the Hula
They danced to “Dainty Cheeks.”  “Dainty Cheeks, dampened by the sea spray.”
We should not mock those with classy style. Here we are line dancing.
After the song was done, everyone left the floor.
I told Michelle, “If it was Donna Summer, I’d be out there, but I’m not going for that Frankie Valley shit.”
But the floor was crowded a minute ago…”Yes, Michelle, white people like their line dancing.”

I was told by one Ogre that requesting Gold Digger at a wedding is poor form. But it got people back on the floor, without the line dancing.  Dude, I am a dj.  Ok, a dj on blip, but still.

Actually, the Ogre was happy.  When he is happy, he turns into Simon Cowell.  He was critiquing the Best Man’s Speech.  He deemed it a little pitchy. 
He also had comments about my dancing. “When you were dancing, you looked like Simon Peg.  Just for a little bit.” 
He also had comments for his buddy Jerry.
Something like “why is my wife’s cleavage on your camera?”
That would be because someone had the good notion to steal Jerry’s unattended camera and take all sorts of fun photos!
My kind of people!
I had told them I left my camera unattended for an hour with friends, and not one single “when did I take that” photo.  
There was also a celebrity sighting…Barry Manilow…’s son?
Hey FogDog, how many Mojitos did you drink??
After having such a great time with friends, we decided to have a 15 year Anniversary Party featuring Karaoke and Guitar Hero.  You’re all invited, but be warned the Ogre will be judging your performances.
Hooch, sponsored by John and Beth
Opera Prima-Moscato Charmat
Fen Valley White Wines
Mojitos of highest quality 
On a side note, I hear that John and Beth had a lovely honeymoon and were not over taken by Jamaican civil unrest. Although they were apparently taken to the resort while the driver was, well, celebrating.


6 responses to this post.

  1. Now I want to renew my vows with Grumpy so you can be a bridesmaid and the DJ (because I know you want to be both)Maybe I should re-consider working out with Dee…my arms don't have that awesome.


  2. You are the go to Party Girl that's for sure. Cuz every where you go a party breaks out! You & Ogre look amazing!


  3. You know, normally I don't like hearing about weddings full of people I don't know, but this was freakin' hilarious. I loved it. I must live vicariously through you and your awesome group of friends and your mojitos, as I still have a baby on the boob and no real social life to speak of. :PJess


  4. Thanks Jess, your comment really meant a lot to me. I'm glad that the wedding post was fun.You and that baby will be out having your own adventures soon enough. Probably without the mojitos though!


  5. Holly, that was a great blog . . . loved it!!! I'm going to share this with my people. Your sense of humor is awesome. And it was really cool, because your blog pics are the first we've seen of the wedding. Hey, we clean up nicely. LOL.


  6. Holly, that was a great blog . . . loved it!! I'm going to share it with my people. Your sense of humor is awesome. And it was really cool because your blog pics are the first pics we've seen of the wedding. Hey, we clean up nicely1 lol. BTW, I loved "Golddigger!!" One can never have too much booty music.


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