What the Mazda, a File and I Were Doing

So I was at Breakaway Bikes in Portage to get a bike rack. (Although they think they are in Kalamazoo, their address is Portage.)

My dream bike! Townie Electric assist-in Snot Green Polka Dot!

Why not get the super awesome light weight Raxter rack that I researched for 3 days online and had Marty find a retailer that shipped for free? Because I tend to have, shall we say interesting dilemmas, and often need help. Such was the case with my bike rack, and I’m glad I listened to my Snotty instincts. You’ll see why in a minute.

So, I got the Yakima. Mostly because of the Planet Payback, somewhat because it sounds like cat barf. Then, the guy said “Do you want the floor Model?” I said “if I get a discount.” He said “Yeah, we don’t do that.”

So Pig 3 and I waited for him to build us a fresh one, and we tore apart the store!!!!

But when it came time to install my bike rack, we hit a problem. Really. There was a “safety stop” in my hitch. Yeah. You know because my car isn’t meant to haul anything, I guess my hitch was installed for show. It’s like chrome! I pimped my ride!

So, friendly bike guy stood behind my car with greased up bike rack and pounded the hell out of the hitch. He looked like a poodle trying to mount a German Shepard. A toy poodle. I thought it would be bad form to take a photo. I wanted to though, I wanted to.

Solution…Play Shawshank Redemption! Not the swim through the sewer part…just the escaping from prison part!!

Ok, I didn’t go to jail, I just felt like I was escaping from one. I filed down the safety stop. All in the name of biking friends, all in the name of biking.

I gave it the old in out. I really stuck it to it. She was asking for it. I lasted for like an hour.

Like I need any more crazy to go with my crazy. I did this right in the front lawn for all the neighbors to gawk at.

But, I did it. I’m not blind, but everyone’s going to think I have been up to something.


7 responses to this post.

  1. You are too funny! Lucky you got a nice sales person (although really they should have given you the floor model at a discount)When we bought middle daughter’s bike, I asked three, not two, but three people who worked at the store, wearing uniforms and everything for help and they all told me no, not their department! Anyway, hope the Mazda wasn’t too traumatized, I’m assuming it was her first time. 🙂


  2. OTT!!!You are the bike goddess. You need to come up to TO and help me get that bike out of the ravine. Right away. Big lambfest on Sunday what with Greek Easter… and beer. What are you waiting for?


  3. Um . . . who would put a fake hitch on their car? Why would they think you wanted a fake one instead of an actual hitch? I sooo don’t get that. Good for you for fixing it.


  4. No, it’s a real hitch. It’s just a really small hitch for what I’m putting on it.


  5. I freaking LOVE that bike! Do we need to start a Snotty One NEEEEEDs the Snotty Polka Dot Bike fundraiser?I missed ZPDK today. I was on my way, just one quick stop at the post office. If only it weren’t for the fluffy damsel in distress in the parking lot. I couldn’t leave it there. I couldn’t bring it to ZPDK with me and leave it in the car. I couldn’t bring the damn thing home. But I did. Peter’s gonna kill me.


  6. So, now I have my bike rack, but I can’t reach to get my bike off the garage wall!Spinsanity has a new dog or a small werewolf?


  7. I love that green polka dot bike. You should have it, you deserve it.


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