You Too Will Soon Feel Like This…

I recently scored some of the infamous Amish Friendship Bread. The instructions I got with my starter said “don’t get rid of your starter, only the Amish know the secret of making more.”

I thought, or really, only the Amish know how to rot crap on their counter? I seem to be pretty darn good at rotting stuff. I seem to recall making even making cheese in my old mini van with a sippy cup, a bumpy road, and a warm day. Besides, I have made starter for Amish Friendship Bread, and I’m pretty sure I use ‘tricity, vaccines and the dreaded buttons. I like buttons.

So, I checked the Amish Bread Story at my favorite source…WIKI! Here’s what it says:

The first time “Amish Friendship Bread” was discussed on Usenet was in a posting on February 5, 1990. It was an experiment by Girl Scout Troop 15, c/o Emilie Manning in Oswego, NY and was posted by Patrick Salsbury.

The results yielding from a traditional Amish Friendship Bread recipe is a sweet quickbread with a taste and crumb very similar to a cake. The starter, however, may be used to make lots of different types of bread.

A similar (cake) recipe, named “Hermann” has existed in Germany since the 1980s.

Since I lost the original directions to my starter, and I was all angry about the “don’t get rid of your starter only the Amish know the secret” anyway, I found a more fitting set of instructions at Decapitating Shadows

Day one: This is the day you receive your starter. Do nothing.

Day two: Mush the bag.

Day three: Mush the bag.

Day four: Mush the bag.

Day five: Add one cup each of flour, sugar, milk. Mush the bag.

Day six: Mush the bag. Begin to wonder if all this stuff festering on your counter is really hygienic……

You have to check out the rest of the instruction. They are hysterical. Go now to Decapitating Shadows. I’m going to ask for permission to copy those instructions to include with my starters when I force them upon you…


10 responses to this post.

  1. Ooh, I want some! Remember when we did that a couple of years back and made all that nummy bread? The only bread I haven’t ruined beyond recognition? I would love to do that.


  2. I love everlasting yeast! I don’t worry about “old” ingredients sitting around because I know that the yeast consumed them. No more than I worry that last weeks pb&j is still with me. The freaky part is the yeast excrement. They fart…gas bubbles. They whiz..the off-clear liquid that rises to the top. It’s alcohol/water and it’s called “hooch”. Which is why booze is called hooch. Happy baking.


  3. Can you get a starter over to this side of the state? My aunt used to make a sourdough bread from a starter. She would not share! Merry Christmas!


  4. Carina! You will soon be the victim of some starter!Lora! I love that my bread is hooch, excellent trivia!TracyB! I can probably work out some sort of cross state starter transport…I love bootlegging!


  5. Whoo! Free starter!


  6. These instructions are fab. Can’t say I’ll be rushing to make the bread though. Re. eggnog – I’m with you. I hate it. Merry Christmas, Holly!


  7. THis sounds interesting. I’d like to try it as well. It also sounds like it can become a bit OCD after awhile, though. Still, it sounds like it’s delicious when it’s done.


  8. Good fucking hell, where are you when I’m having a zombie bread crisis??? You give me this pet-thing and I try to cheat a little by not feeding it quite as much as you tell me to so I don’t have to pull out bags and bags of this shit to force on people walking down the street (because we all know the only friends I have are the ones you’ve already given this crap to) and then…and then…I can’t figure out how much of this crap I need to scoop out to make the damn batter.Make me do my own research, whydonchaya? Sheesh.


  9. Oh boy, it’s just rotting sour dough, it’s really forgiving, Carina even uses soy milk. Hey! Give some to Carina. I swear, she’s yours. Then just do 1/2 batches. Seee, I’m here for you…


  10. One cup of fermenting crap and cheesecake pudding rather than vanilla worked just fine. *burp*Kazoo Shannon is mine, all mine!Since I cheated (only 1/2 cups for the last feeding instead of 1 1/2 cups), I’m not sure I have enough for Carina.I really just wanted to hear your voice on the phone. ;-)Hey, I got reusable bags at Meijer, $.99 each. DOWN WITH SHITY STRING BAGS!


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: