Ogre, You Better Watch Your Back, and Your Flushing

I don’t care how big of an Ogre you are, you don’t wake a person up by saying “you need to call your plumber again, the toilets are overflowing.” Because Saturnalia is coming up and you will get nothing.

Hold still little woman, let me blow snot into your knitting…

Other things the Ogre said to me this morning:

A. You will not go to the Post Office and demand your package.

B. You realize it’s international and it’s probably been confiscated.

C. No, they aren’t eating your candy.

D. What’s the big deal about foreign candy anyway?

E. It’s really not better.

F. You are not going to be topless knitting or dancing in Windsor.

G. What kind of plumber did you call the first time?

H. Is International Candy better?

I. It’s really better?

I don’t take well to authority. Most of what letters A-I seemed to be were, uh, sort of authoritarian, and I’m feeling a bit, miffed. I would wear my red zombie boots to show my rage, but I have a 4 hour shift at the lab and it takes like a half hour to lace them up. I would burn like half my work time just doing my Mr. Rogers shoe switch. I can’t risk my zombie kickers to human blood borne pathogens. Zombies, fine, human, eeewwwh.

On a less angry note, here are some photos of Saturday, which actually, did lead to barfing thanks to donuts and cider. But that happened in the Ogre’s car, so, serves him right.

Erika was so happy with her baby’s sweater she said “ooh, if this was bigger!” I was like yeah, I bought the yarn for me! On the lright is Sadie! She may be the victim of the most snotty knits. She’s a girl to knit for, a novelty for me.

News Flash! Erika wants to be a Zombie Prom Date Knitter too! We ARE taking over the world!

You collect stuff? I break stuff.

Cows couldn’t break this, and neither could Pig 2. A cow anchor collection. Curious? You should have gone to Grange Baby.

Collected from the Indigenous people of Ecuador by one “I’m the next Jane Goodall!” Shelly.
This collection made Shelly the Sweet Heart of the Grange. If you would like to earn this title, come to the Grange! Check it out, it’s fun!

What did I bring? Something silly, of course!

My t shirts. I didn’t realize I had a “collection.” I do. Someone nicely suggested they be cut up and made into a quilt. I threatened to cut their arm off and beat them to death with it. I really did. I love my t shirts. Especially that Sonic Youth one over there on the left. Oooh, and my new Portastatic shirt. Ah, love.


3 responses to this post.

  1. Ah…Windsor……love the entertainment industry there.


  2. Holly, assuming you have not been cheating on me and are not awaiting some other international shipment of Smarties and Cadburys… save yourself a trip to the post office. The postie brought your package, returned, to my office today. It had been opened and all of the candy was GONE!!! (the thief had, however, left behind the zombie hankie. No chocolate stains, either. If there were, I’d be heading straight to Ottawa on my broom to confront the head branch of the post office.Grrr. The package showed no signs of having been in US customs (or rejected). I strongly suspect the post office employee near here who looks like Santa Claus. HOW DARE THEY!!!!Sorry for ranting. I’ll get you the zombie hankie with another shipment… through UPS.


  3. Oh – PS: we really should get the ogre and jj together. It seems as though they have a lot in common. In response to some of Mr. O’s points:B. You realize it’s international and it’s probably been confiscated.Nah… my OWN government took care of that. The candy bars apparently disappeared into the 49th dimension. Alternatively, I hope that the thieves all get fat and then explode.C. No, they aren’t eating your candy.See answer to B, above.D. What’s the big deal about foreign candy anyway?Canadian candy is better. So is Canadian beer. Don’t combine the two, however (they go about as well as doughnuts and cider. On that topic, Canadian doughnuts are better too… yay, Timmys!!E. It’s really not better.Of course it is. They just closed the Hershey’s plant in Smiths Falls, Ontario – by way of proving my point!F. You are not going to be topless knitting or dancing in Windsor.Aw… come on, Mr. O… can’t Holly come out and play??? It’s just topless knitting, I promise – for the dancing, we’ll keep our clothes on!H. Is International Candy better?Yep (see D, above. JJ says that British candy is even better still. And he may well be right…)I. It’s really better?But of course. AND we have curry flavoured chips!!!!


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