Zombie Prom Date Knitters

Once upon a time there was a lonely girl. You know the type, smart, quiet, partial to wearing hand knit cardigans and dreaming of her true love Albert Einstein.

When not thinking about the space time continuum, Jane also thought of the High School Quarterback. His name is unimportant now, but we’ll call him Ted. Ted was tall, handsome, and darn it, the High School Quarterback, and he only had eyes for Jane.

Actually, Ted was also a Second Year Senior, he was tall, but he was also past his prime, gone to seed, and most of the other girls had “dated” him when they were Freshman. Poor Jane wore glasses that were a couple years past needing replaced, was busy with Latin club, inventing time travel, alternate energy, and was blinded by love. She just didn’t notice.

Now when Prom Season came about, this mismatched pair agreed to meet at the High School at 7. What our Jane didn’t know was this…

Ted’s pregnant girl friend was in town with plans of her own for Prom weekend. No skinny glasses girl was going to take her man to prom when she got too liquored up to make it to hers. That’s right Jane must die!

But in the late 50’s it was hard for a young pregnant chick to carry a gun, catch the bus, go over to a stranger’s house and murder someone. Especially when the person you planned on killing turned out to be your cousin.

Instead Sunny moved to plan B. She went over to Jane’s house. Hung out with Jane’s Mom ate cookies and had a great time.

Meanwhile….

That no good Ted was drinking with his buddies. It was like 4 in the after noon! He was supposed to be meeting with his future Baby’s Mama. When he remembered, he hopped in his car and promptly crashed his car into a cemetery.

Unfortunately for all involved, he hit the freshly dug grave of the undead. Oh yes, friends, a zombie. A hungry for brains zombie.

So when the cops found Ted’s car and no Ted, they were like, “Oh, well, that lazy Ted must have jump town to

A. Avoid his knocked up girlfriend
B. Avoid awkward 2 angry girl situation
C. Avoid Formal wear rental

So, they really didn’t bother to go looking for him…which lead to a very sad and disturbing incident. No, not the Incident at Hawk’s Hill, that was something else.

Ted, as a zombie still showed up at the Prom. He was a dim witted human, as a zombie, it mostly added the drooling and hunger for brains.

Jane, well, she looked like a fairy princess. Ok, a fairy princess with glasses, new glasses, sensible shoes, and a smart cardigan. But really, sensible shoes, just makes sense. Sunny wished her luck, told her to not drink too much and to have fun, but not with her no good man.

When Jane arrived, Ted looked ok from a distance, but as he approached, she got frightened. He was drooling, and his rental tux was covered in what looked like, water? Beer? What the heck, these new glasses were great! That was blood! He also looked like he had a broken tibia, possibly whiplash, and golly had he been practicing Voodoo, or visiting the Pet Semetary?

Suddenly Jane was no longer timid, she knew what she had to do…Run! No, not like that. She was going to save Prom. She ran to the football field maintenance shed. There had to be something in there to use as a weapon!

Although Ted wasn’t the athlete he used to be, and he was now a zombie, he was still pretty quick. Plus, it’s hard to run in a fancy dress, even if you are wearing sensible shoes. That’s when it happened, Jane tripped over a stupid shovel. But she picked that shovel, and herself up, stood her ground and then…

Lobbed his head clean off.

Jane not only saved herself, but she also saved Prom! She tidied herself off, adjusted her cardi, went in and met a boy. A nice boy. A boy who just so happened to be an Ogre. Yep.

When Ted crashed into the Cemetery, he nicked the Ogre with his car. So the poor Ogre wasn’t able to get the original zombie when it came out of the grave. What happened to the O.Z. (original zombie?) Jane and the Ogre went out and got it together.

So how does knitting fit into this love story? You didn’t forget about Sunny did you?

Jane taught Sunny to knit. Then Sunny taught a friend to knit, and then some girls at the soda shop wanted to knit. Then Jane taught Sunny to fight. Then Sunny taught the baby to use a shovel. Then they formed the Zombie Prom Date Knitters. They made charity hats, they went on outings, they taught people to knit, spin, crochet, slay zombies, whatever was needed, and they just had fun.

My Ogre just happens to be related to the Ogre that ended up marrying Jane. So, I started up my own branch of Zombie Prom Date Knitters in honor of Jane and her Ogre. Not to mention Sunny and Lily.

So, it’s in honor of a Zombie Prom Date Survior…who turned into a Zombie Slayer/Knitter.

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