Pig 1 and his Gryffindor sock

No, no, I am not implying by the title that the Gryffindor socks are actually done. No. I am still working on the accursed double points second sock. What happened was I started working on the heel before I was actually done with the leg section.

For those who don’t knit, this was going to make one sock, well, about 1.5 inches shorter than the other. I asked Pig 1 if he wanted socks that were the same height, or cool wizard wonky socks. His reply was, “Mom, they need to be the same, they’re socks.”

Now I am absolutely sure that Mrs. Weasley has made loads of socks, with magic even, that were of different heights, weights and colors, as a result of being distracted by her family. I mean, she has Fred and George for kids…along with all the others. That’s more snot that I can even imagine!

We’re getting a bit Harry Potter crazy around here. I am tense with nerves. I want the last book, but I am afraid to read the end. Oooh, I feel sick.

So, on to me making an ass of my self!

I am taking this new migraine medicine and it makes everything taste funny. Really. Diet Coke, my beloved, life saving bit of sanity often found to be spiked with rum, Diet Coke, I dream of marketing plans for the machine that is the Coke company, sometimes even in Japanese which I don’t speak, tastes like ashes in my mouth. Like crematory ashes in my mouth. Ashes of dead birds bad. Ok, so really, really bad. Food also tastes funny. Not as bad as my poor dead bird Diet Coke, but not right. So I haven’t been eating like my normal pig self.

But water tastes awesome. Weirdly, little kid riding Big Wheels in the sun all day, slurp it down without breathing awesome. This is going somewhere. So I’m all hopped up on the glory of how cool drinking water is, and I haven’t eaten anything in like 8 hours.

PK is probably going, “oh, my gosh, raging evil alert! She can’t go that long without food! Screaming harpy! Beware! Beware!!” PK actually carries snacks in her purse, for me, not the pigs, because I am so heinous to be around when I don’t eat. It’s a whole blood sugar satan thing.

So, in my overloaded water joy state, I bypassed evil, and went straight to blathering idiot. I had random green mystery vegetables on my counter from Avalon Farms and I had decided that it was cook them, or waste them. Don’t worry, I have a giant compost thing just for my uneaten veggies, remember I am the world’s worst vegetarian. So I figure, I’ll just call Carina! She also gets Share of the Crop. She’ll know what this stuff is.

But she didn’t answer. It was her husband. So in my blissed out water state, I had to admit my lack of vegetable knowledge, and then ask how to cook it. So, David, thank you for going to Med School so that you could tell me that I in fact had both cabbage leaves in my frige and kale on my counter. Thank you also for the fine, fine tips on cooking it. Dinner was excellent. Oh, after talking to him, I realized I was going to pass out and I ate a pre dinner snack.

Now, Carina, please help me from myself. When we get our farm deliveries, if you could just please, on the sly, let me know what all our produce is, and if it’s something weird, you know out side of tomatos or potatos, tips on how to cook it.

For example:
Tomatos
green pea things-do I eat these raw, shell them then cook, just cook
green stuff-what is it!!? how to cook?
potatos
onions
blueberries

Your list to me:

Tomatos
peas-cook them
Kale-chop, cook like David said
potatos
onions
blueberries
are you really this dense?

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2 responses to this post.

  1. Best laugh I’ve had in days. :-DI only know what the stuff is because I look it up. Seriously. Thank God for Google. Remember when they used to have the lists and tell us what-all was in the bags? I miss that.David thought it was cute. He loves to be able to answer cooking questions (he was so proud of himself for figuring out the cabbage leaves).No delivery this week. Wah. At least Horrocks is starting to get Michigan produce in.

    Reply

  2. Glad to brighten someone’s day! I was so confused by Ogre’s help…it’s swiss chard, it’s blah, it’s swiss chard. I figured I would just call you guys.I called leduc’s…they are ready for the pigs to pick/eat blueberries!!

    Reply

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